Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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