Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
