You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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