I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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