the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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