I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
