And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
