I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
