3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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