no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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