Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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