just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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