if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
