Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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