thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize