walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
