he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
