i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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