So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
