You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
