What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
