im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
