Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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