well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize