Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
