No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize