that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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