Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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