grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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