Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
