I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im holly from the hills drunk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.