he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday