Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.