I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she smelled like a LAN party
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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