Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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