Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
