The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
