Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
