you have to choose: penises or morals?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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