there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
