I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
