Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
