i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
