Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
