You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
