Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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