I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
