So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They took my balls.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
