yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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