There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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