Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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