I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
