can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
