I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you win again, gameday.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
