i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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