I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize