Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
