don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
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You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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