I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
