I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
