In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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