I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
