Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
