I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They have beer where we have blood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
