I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
