the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
soo... how was my night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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