There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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